Recently I was talking to a younger friend over a couple of drinks. During our conversation, I threw out a few of the usual jokes about getting older. My back is starting to hurt, I’m falling apart, you know. It’s not that funny when you think about it, but everyone around me talks like this. There are countless memes about it. I think I’ve simply gotten used to treating it as an inevitable part of getting older.
After one more self-deprecating note, my friend stopped me and asked why I kept talking like this. “You’re just a few years older than me and still super young!” I let out an unnatural chuckle and changed the subject, but the question triggered something. All those phrases echoed in my head one by one, and it scared me. Is this how people really turn into old men? I don’t want that.
This fear marinated for the next few days. The more I thought about it, the more I noticed two camps of people, regardless of age: those who glow with vitality and a drive for life, and those who settle and slowly adopt this way of talking.
“Cmon, joke police. Can’t I complain about my knees and still feel young and energized?”
Of course you can. It would be a stretch to say that a few jokes can make you old. But the words you repeatedly use are important, and your inner self-talk may matter even more. Together, they form a prism through which you perceive yourself and the world, and shape how you present yourself to others.
Getting older is inevitable (Bryan Johnson, please!). Over time, we tend to develop health issues, our energy may decline, and there are real changes connected with aging. And it’s comforting to know we’re not alone in this, so we courageously talk about our flaws and make fun of them.
But somewhere along the way, the joke can become a belief. Instead of just physically getting older, you start to think and speak older on top of that, voluntarily 3x your age. So next time I hear someone crack a joke about their lower back at 25, I will punch them in the face and suggest doing McGill Big 3.